For managers
Spotting the signs that a man is struggling at work
Men don't always say they're struggling, but there are often signs. This guide covers what to notice and how to open a conversation in a way that feels safe.
6 min readUpdated 21 October 2026By MENd Together CIC
What you might notice
Look for change from what's normal for that person, rather than any single sign. The Health and Safety Executive lists changes in mood and behaviour among the signs of stress in workers.
- Going quiet, withdrawing from the team, skipping breaks or social time
- A shorter fuse, more arguments, or being unusually on edge
- More mistakes, missed deadlines or trouble concentrating
- Arriving late, leaving early, or more time off
- Looking tired, or talking about not sleeping
- Drinking more, or jokes that sound like they're covering something
Starting the conversation
Pick somewhere private and a time when neither of you is rushed. Many men find it easier to talk side by side, on a walk, in the van or over a brew, than across a desk.
- Keep it simple: "You've not seemed yourself lately. How are things?"
- Ask twice. The first "I'm fine" is often automatic.
- Listen more than you speak, and don't rush to fix it.
- Ask what would help, at work and outside it.
- Agree a next step, and check in again.
You don't have to be the expert
Your job isn't to diagnose or counsel. It's to notice, ask, listen, and help him reach support. Know what your organisation offers, and where to go urgently.
MENd Together runs leadership and manager support for employers, alongside men's wellbeing workshops and confidential one-to-one support for staff.
If someone is at immediate risk, call 999. For urgent mental health support, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option, call Samaritans free on 116 123, or text SHOUT to 85258.
For employers
Support for the men in your workforce
MENd Together is a Community Interest Company delivering practical, confidential men's wellbeing support for employers: workplace men's circles, workshops, one-to-one support, drop-ins, leadership support and ongoing partnerships, shaped around your workforce.
Common questions
- What if he says he's fine?
- Respect it, but leave the door open: "OK. If anything changes, I'm here." Check in again later. Many men need to be asked more than once.
- Should I tell HR?
- Follow your organisation's policy and be honest about confidentiality from the start. If you believe someone is at immediate risk, safety comes first: call 999.
Sources
- Health and Safety Executive: Work-related stress and how to manage it
- Acas: Supporting mental health at work
This guide is general information, not legal, medical or clinical advice. MENd Together is not a crisis service. If someone is at immediate risk, call 999.